Frank Zappa & The Mothers Of Invention - One Size Fits All
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Free Music Notes for One Size Fits All
Free Music Review: Opinions From An Alternate Universe
Hit: 5 Stars
Through my job as a reporter for a publication that, legally, I can't name here, I recently had an opportunity to interview Mr. Theodore Kaczynski, who was more widely known in the 1980's and 90's as the infamous "Unabomber". During the course of our disjointed discussion, the subject of music came up unusually often. It was at that point that I became very curious as to how Mr. Kaczynski, or Teddy as he likes to be called, would review the Frank Zappa disc "One Size Fits All." What does a mad-man hear in his head, and how is it thusly interpreted? (Don't tell me you've never wondered.) So, for the scientifically investigative among you in the Amazon.com community, or simply for the pruriently inquisitive, I reprint that portion of our conversation here for your edification:
FRANKLY ZAPPA: Well, Mr. Kaczynski, you have been described as having an almost total absence of interpersonal relationship skills and a large amount of delusional thinking concerning your belief that you were being controlled by modern technology. On May 4, 1998, you were sentenced to serve four consecutive life sentences, and you will probably never be paroled. So, all in all, how do you feel about Frank Zappa's "One Size Fits All"?
THEODORE KACZYNSKI: I believe that that particular disc was Zappa and the Mothers. And, please, call me Teddy.
FZ: Okay... Teddy... and you are correct, it is the Mothers. But, you must admit, that even you need a record player, or compact disc player, or some device of a 'technological' nature to listen to Zappa. How do you reconcile this seeming anomaly within your profoundly anti-technological philosophy?
TK: This is true, to a certain extent. But remember, though, that the power of society to control the individual and the direct physical control of emotions via electrodes and 'chemitrodes,' and the development of super-animals or vegetables with an intellectual potential are another story. Zappa understood this, I think. He addresses this topic quite deliberately with "Evelyn, A Modified Dog."
FZ: That still doesn't address the need for electronic equipment to listen to the song in the first place! Again, how do you reconcile your anti-technology convictions with your Zappa records or compact discs?
TK: I did some very interesting experiments in my cabin in Montana that involved the playing of my Frank Zappa discs with nothing more than a sharpened pine twig, my Sofa No. 1, some bailing wire and a solar powered turn-table made out of an empty Cool Whip container. In fact, the crux of "One Size Fits All" is similar to the relationship of Cool Whip topping to its tofutti-like counterpart, low-fat cream cheese. This means terse calories versus glabrous macrobiotics, or, more simply, pine twigs instead of electronic implants. So, my motives concerning listening to Zappa's music were anti-technological, to be sure, but still pro-Zappa, if you can understand that.
FZ: Not really. But pine twigs and cream cheese aside, you have been quoted as saying that the prosecutors at your trial distorted your motives, and also played upon your hostility towards mental health professionals. I believe, though, that your refusal to submit to court-ordered examination didn't help your position. With that fact in mind, what would you describe as your favorite song from "One Size Fits All"?
TK: Well, with so much revolutionary musical substance on just one album, the challenge that faces any listener donning a pair of menacing Zappa-filled headphones is how to pick just one favorite. "One Size Fits All" represents a musical REVOLUTION, not a musical REFORM. People tend to assume that because a musical revolution involves a much greater change than musical reform does, revolution is more difficult to bring about. Actually, under certain circumstances revolution is much easier than reform. A revolutionary movement can inspire an intensity of commitment that a reform movement cannot inspire, and this is why Zappa was a genius on so many levels. Here he had created a classic yet revolutionary melodrama set to some extraordinary music which creates a quixotic soundscape.
FZ: That really didn't answer the question, Teddy.
TK: Sorry. "San Ber'dino."
FZ: Now, Teddy, you state that at one time you sought psychiatric help after repeatedly listening to the song titled "Florentine Pogen", after which you experienced several weeks of intense and persistent excitement involving fantasies of being a "debutante daisy."
TK: So?
FZ: Well, you stated that you intended to discuss this vegetal-fixation with a psychiatrist, but changed your mind in the waiting room. You then only asked the doctor in question to water you. So I think the big question here would be, what was the "One Size Fits All" factor in this?
TK: Well, while it was true that "Can't Afford No Shoes" with it's bass guitar Hillbilly sensibilities and recession-era insinuations is a reoccurring theme that still resonates today, I think Zappa is still considered too heterogeneous by most folks. Society won't accept Frank's intellectualization on an inter-personal level. It's a societal confusion or rejection.
FZ: Society is anti-Zappa? Or anti-botanical?
TK: Both, partly. Imagine a society that ignores the Florentine Pogens amongst us, if you will. We should all be free to be a debutante daisy with a color-note organ. This denial is anti-Zappa. We should all be able to drive a '59 Morgan, without the fear that our fan-belt will shrink and get shorter. Zappa is our panaceal ointment in the form of an entirely new and wonderful terrestrial sphere of biological musical phantasm.
FZ: Well, Teddy, "One Size Fits All" is certainly a masterpiece, but you and your analogies are nuttier than a blind squirrel in a tin outhouse. Any parting comments?
TK: Eat more Zappa, you Po-Jama People.
FZ: Well, at least that was decorously stated.
Free Music Review: All these 5-star reviews must mean something...
Hit: 5 Stars
Every lineup FZ hired was par excellence, and this is no exception. What makes this a standout, is it is probably the smoothest-sounding record he ever made, especially under the name of "The Mothers." The Mothers' music was often crude, tasteless, even harsh-sounding. And even though the personnel changed constantly, the name "Mothers" meant usually a raspberry in the direction of every current convention. The divisive humor is still present on "One Size..." but there is an elegance in this particular record that is rare, even for the Zappa catalogue. "Inca Roads," the opener, is a song about unidentified flying objects, and this sets the mood, because most of this music is not of this world. It is a typical project for the bands Zappa has led, a pretty simple vamp with some odd punctuation, a stunning guitar solo, and some incredibly difficult instrumentation for good measure. "Can't Afford No Shoes" is a straight-foreward rocker, leading into possibly the most elegant melody in Zappa's body of work, the instrumental "Sofa." This number dates back to the "Flo & Eddie" period, Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan sing in phonetic German, just like on One Size's closer, "Sofa #2." "Po-Jama People" exploits the voice change Zappa experienced after damaging his larynx in his fall from the stage when that psycho attacked him at the Rainbow Theater in 1971. Banged him up pretty good, but his voice went considerably deeper afterwards, and probably sounds better than he would've otherwise. And of course, the lengthy, fuzz-tone guitar solo, obligatory at this point, is the centerpiece of the song. "Florentine Pogen" is probably the most structurally complex number on this disc. It seems every verse has a different melody and time signature. Most songs have a bridge, but this has several. A difficult number to perform. "Evelyn, A Modified Dog" is a silly number, Frank singing to George Duke's piano, very similar to "Leather's" version of "A Little Green Rosetta." Conceptual Continuity. All his recordings dovetail, it seems.
"San Ber'dino," even though it sounds upbeat, is about Zappa's ten days in jail in 1965. He was facing up to twenty years, on a trumped-up obcenity charge, where a vice detective named Willis set him up in a sting operation. They didn't like the fact that he was living in Studio Z with Jim Sherwood, the buxom Lorraine Belcher, and another white woman who had a black baby, who used to play in the dirt outside. The "seedy" atmosphere of the place, with its psychedelic decorations and freaky people who frequented the place, just didn't jibe with the white-bread "Leave It To Beaver" community. They hired Studio Z to make a racy tape for a supposed bachelor party, and arrested Zappa and Belcher when the tape was handed over. The judge thought the tape was funny, which angered the prosecution, but he was given two years probation and a suspended sentence. This would explain the overt sexual content in much of his work, rubbing the authority's nose in his right to artistic expression. Imagine how he must have felt at the time: "...land of the free? HAH!"
"Andy" is up there with "Sofa," in its elegance and beauty. The bluesy beginning belies the atmosphere of the rest of it. It has an incredible beauty to it. Of course, this is subjective, someone else may disagree about it's merit, but judge for yourself. I'll leave it at that.
And, of course, this all closes with "Sofa#2." Originally part of a bigger, more elaborate piece, fragments of which appear in "Playground Psychotics" and Volume One of the "You Can't Do That..." series from the Flo & Eddie days, as stated earlier. This is the polished version. Even if you can't understand a word of it, it will speak to you.
This is a very elegant, sophisticated piece of music, and the only people I imagine not liking it, would be the ones who catagorically dismiss it, all over the Zappa name. There would be no pleasing them anyway.
This is an incredible piece of music.
Free Music Review: It's been said before but I'll say it again...Zappa's best!
Hit: 5 Stars
...and that's saying something. Before I get into my review, I just wanna say "Thank You!", to all of you readers out there. Any newcomers who are interesting enough to open this page, thanks! It's good to see that there are still plenty of people in the world who love the work of Frank Zappa. Through his six-volume "You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore" releases to his countless post-humous albums, the man's done it all, but this takes the cake. Along with some other works around this time, "One Size Fits All" is an absolutely essential Zappa tape that should be one of the first in this genius's world of music that should be added to your collection.
How to pull off a feat of making the best of a 60+ discography? Simple. Write some great lyrics, work on some impossible songwriting textures, techniques and tempo changes and hire a virtuoso musician that adds up to almost every popular instrument known to man.
If I'm exaggerating, I apologize, but stating this album for what it's worth, well then: It's worth the price and then some! In only nine tracks, Zappa and the Mothers of Invention (though this is the last title to include), they pull off a flurry of genres that, when combined together in the right way, makes a leviathan of an album! You have the jazzy, 9-minute opener "Inca Roads", for example. This is one of my favorite Zappa tracks, and included are some impossibly fast marimba/flute work, funny lyrics and a 2-minute plus guitar solo from the man himself! Actually, I love the solo here, not only because it shows how talented Frank Zappa was, but it's memorable, almost to a lusty extent if I may be so bold. I can't get enough of this track, and neither will you if you're looking for some classic Zappa.
"Can't Afford No Shoes" is a pretty basic, amusing and straight-ahead rock track with a great guitar/drum/piano combo and lyrics that will make you laugh. Both the "Sofas" are jazzy and romantic; the second one includes lyrics in German, which makes sense, considering Frank Zappa is German. However, I must admit I like Sofa No. 1 a bit more.
Even though I normally give a track-for-track review of most of the albums I review, and I've left you hanging to see how some of the other songs are, I think I'll just let you find out for youself. After all, there's nothing wrong with a surprise, and it's important to get the heads-up on songs like these for yourself. But if you wanna get into Zappa, this is a positive MUST-BUY.
Overall: A few words to describe this album: Epic, Fantastic, Timeless, Romantic, Lyrically Witty, Instrumentally Dazzling, and at the top of the Zappa tapes (I refer to Frank's work as "the Zappa tapes" with my guitar teacher sometimes). To speak in a direct way, I, like many other Zappa fans, consider this to be one of the greatest Frank Zappa albums you're gonna get. So, if you are interested in a number of music genres, are looking for something that's not your typical rock album, or just want to discover the magic and the genius that is Frank Zappa, add this to your list and I hope you'll love it. I know I did!
Free Music Review: captures everything I love about Zappa
Hit: 5 Stars
Wow, One Size Fits All just might be the *ultimate* Frank Zappa experience! You're treated to a TON of exciting musical ideas, instrumental chops that will leave you begging for more, guitar soloing that destroys most of the competition out there, and songwriting that's just top-notch and superb.
Yup, this is probably the best Zappa album ever. Though I *am* partial to Over-Nite Sensation, so depending how I feel, I might choose that album over this one, but it's honestly WAY too close to call.
"Inca Roads" is exactly what makes Zappa such a fascinating musician. So many unpredictable shifts in direction, this song goes through a TON of adventurous territory. The vocal melody in the beginning resembles the progressive rock band Camel quite a bit, and it leads way to these memorable Asian-sounding instrumental sections immediately before morphing into one of the best guitar jams I've ever heard.
What makes the jam so good, you ask? It starts off on a really emotionally moving slow-paced start for a couple minutes until it eventually speeds up and just rocks the house down. I absolutely love it. At the songs conclusion you're treated to a pretty good keyboard solo. What a song!!
"Sofa No. 1" almost sounds like anthemic 80's rock- an instrumental delight, the guitar playing here is fantastic, and "Sofa No. 2" is almost as good with the German-like vocal melody sung over the same exact notes heard from "Sofa No. 1". What a WEIRD decision to add those particular kind of vocals for the second song! It's oddly emotional, memorable, and addicting.
Whatever experiments Zappa tried seemed to *always* work back in the early 70's, and these two particular songs are a perfect example of experimenting done intelligently and correctly.
My favorite guitar playing on the entire album is featured in the middle of "Po-Jama People". It's *extremely* intense and only lets up in order to return to the original lounge-like vocal melody that began the song. Such a great track.
The second half of One Size Fits All actually seems somewhat normal in comparison to the first half. "Florentine Pogen" contains a wonderful and instantly likeable vocal melody. This vocal melody is not nearly as challenging as most of Zappa's material. It's surprising to me personally, but then...
"Andy" contains soulful vocals and, once again, it's a VERY easy track to get into. This track definitely sounds like it was influenced by the soul genre, and it shows in all its highly melodic glory. "San Ber'dino" feels like a monster-heavy blues rocker with VERY funny lyrics. Some of the funniest lyrics I've ever heard from a Zappa album in fact. I was laughing my buns off last night!
No doubt about it- one of Frank Zappa's best albums.
Free Music Review: The LAST great Zappa album
Hit: 5 Stars
This was the first Zappa album I bought as a teenager in 1975 after being turned on to some of the Flo & Eddie (1971) era Mothers. It was my first Zappa purchase and still among my favorite.I soon after began purchasing every album.
Inca Roads begins the album strong and long, although as a composition doesn't drag the way most lengthy rock songs from the same era did. I cite such "get your butt kicked at a party if you turn the song off" tunes as Green Grass And High Tides Forever and Freebird.
The reason I call this the LAST great Zappa album is because there really aren't any throw-away tracks on it. Many later releases featured an opening track that Zappa perhaps tried to put in to be possibly radio-friendly. This album didn't go for any of that. Just pure musicianship performed by Frank and what many consider his best band, the "Roxy-era Mothers".
Although this sounds like a studio album, Inca Roads and Florentine Pogen were live performances for the KCTV television special in 1974.
The engineering skill that Zappa possessed made the album sound so clean that you wouldn't even know that it was live recording. To attest to the editing skills of Zappa one needs to listen to the ORIGINAL version of Inca Roads (video of the KCTV program) for two reasons:
1. The track, starting with George Duke singing, sounds much better on the album release than in its raw form. Zappa tweeked the knobs to improve George's voice to great result and,
2. The guitar solo from Inca Roads actually was spliced in from the performance of the song from a different concert. That being the Helsinki concert which is released on You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore, Vol. 2. The same solo is on both One Size Fits All and the aforementioned Stage, Vol. 2 but, again, a little editing from the master engineer brought the solo a little tighter and a little brighter!
As for Evelyn, A Modified Dog: The song harkens back to the pedal-depressed resonance of the people inside the piano of the Lumpy Gravy album of 1967. A little bit of nostalgia for the old folks.
The original version of Florentine Pogen (live as mentioned earlier) is, unfortunately, edited before the band really takes it away and features a great guitar solo by Frank. You wouldn't miss it only knowing from the CD anyway, but knowing how the band played on makes you wish it were left intact for the album release.
Pojama People features more blistering Zappa guitar work and Andy features some of my favorite drumming on a Zappa album. The shifting time signatures which only his band members could handle with such precision makes it a Zappa classic!
There are many GREAT Zappa albums. This was perhaps the LAST of the greatest.